Friday, February 24, 2012

Humiliation Play - Breaking it down because it was asked for

Humiliation Play - Breaking it down because it was asked for



In one of the local groups they were looking for answers about why people like humiliation play. It ended up been such a long answer.. I turned it into a blog. Enjoy

What do you consider humiliation play?
For Me humiliation play is a scene in which the bottom is going to not be but feel humiliated. I am making the statement of difference there because what is humiliating for one person may not be for another. Humiliation play is based around peoples fears, secret shames, and also a sexual arousal from been treated this way.

There is so many areas to humiliation play this a very hard one to put into such a blanket term. My wife for example is shy but she loves to be hooded, gagged, and bound and displayed in a humiliating way and shown to strangers. While I comment on how wet she is and check it as such. She hates it but at the same time is amazingly aroused by it. That is certainly a mild example of humiliation play and I would say the most common. For many it involves dressing a partner up who is ashamed to go out to a play party or in public in something they consider humiliating or embarrassing but they get off on it. Therefore it is a mutual enjoyment with the Dominant partner enabling them to either live it out or by knowing them well enough that it will bring them huge levels of sexual arousal.

Humiliation play also includes other areas such as cuckold play and cuckold racial play. Where a male partner usually is been humiliated for his sexual inadequacies by his partner having sexual relations with others in front of him while laughing at him or as you can put together adding in the race play element.

Humiliation sessions I have done can include focuses on sexual ability, genital size, lack of masculinity, size, race, age, intellect and more I can not think of. I also enjoy incorporating humiliation play into other sessions for example giving someone an enema and watching them making them very uncomfortable and embarrassed. For others it might be laughing at been able to over power them, pushing them to the ground, pulling your panties aside and pissing on them before gagging them with the used panties. The only limit to humiliation play is your imagination.

Humiliation play is also very psychological, preparing a good scene requires extensive knowledge of a partners psyche or many many questions, with careful listening. A lot of people who enjoy humiliation especially in men trace it back to a child hood incident. A female bullying them in school, in one case a group of girls peeing on a boy at a boarding school.. The early experiences while humiliating became a later sexual outlet that became exciting. The problem for most is finding someone who can one feel comfortable enough humiliating them, understand where the humiliation derives from and who can execute the scene without stopping because they feel bad or not been able to be sadistically nasty enough. It definitely takes a certain kind of Dominant or top to do humiliation play at a heavier level. One because it involves doing and saying things most would never consider doing to another person, and two because if you are going to play at a heavy level there is a whole area of risk assessment, preparation and the person has to be doing it as a mutually consensual experience not one the other is unprepared for or does not want.

Why are you attracted to humiliation play?
I am attracted to humiliation play because as My profile states I am an extreme Sadist. I enjoy psychological scenes that break down layers, I love the enjoyment of been able to be the bitch who can see into your thoughts, know what your thinking and turn you into a sniveling mess of a man who is at the same time sporting a rock hard erection :P or as in My wifes case.. soaking through the bloody mattress.

What are the risks or other consequences we should be aware of before participating in humiliation play?
Humiliation play is not something for beginners. I think the idea of young Dominants or Tops or even older ones deciding it is a great way to show off their new slave by using them in humiliating ways in public, in front of friends or in sessions is a very bad one. Humiliation play can have huge consequences both short and long term that if you are not willing to consider, be aware of and take care of, then you are crossing the line into abuse.

Before starting any humiliation session or any session involving any elements of it the first thing to explore is the persons history, past traumas, and how they feel about things like their education, looks, abilities as a slave etc. If you do no do this short term you can trigger a emotional meltdown and a severe mood swing which could be very dangerous and hard to deal with. Long term a slave could keep doing it to please the Dominant or top but it could be slowly eating away at them, destroying them more and more inside. Breaking a person like that mentally and to the soul is not the same thing as breaking in a slave. Nor is it the same as breaking someone in humiliation play or pain play where the tears come flooding as a cathartic release. There must as in all things be balance.

A person who loves you or who respects you and is a trustworthy play partner can healthily participate in humiliation scenes with you. If they know you, care for your feelings, ask questions and actually listen you are on the start to finding someone safe to explore humiliation play. If on the other hand they want to write pig whore all over your body and make you drink their piss for their friends amusement or the internets without having a relationship with you. One they are abusing you, and two you are the kind of person I would never do humiliation play with I would instead recommend you to a therapist, explain why and help you try to understand where I am coming from with My experiences.

There is 2 kinds of people who seek to be humiliated, those who get genuine enjoyment from the kink and abuse. Those who have poor self esteem, mental health issues and are easy prey for predators.

Does humiliation play require an extra level of aftercare?
This depends like all aftercare some people require lots some people seem to be just fine without it, some go years without needing it and then one day have a session where they do. If as above you are either in a healthy loving relationship, or two playing with a person who is humiliating you because you both enjoy it then you will as with all after care be able to look at the person sit down and talk for a bit, check in on the areas you focused on and then make the judgment of whether they need more time or reassurance or if they just had a blast and are great. Still it is an area where I take extra care to repeat that if in the next day or week any feelings of depression or mood changes occur to be in contact immediately. This is the same for all play where there is more psychological than physical involved.

What are some humiliation scenes (either that you have heard of or that you desire)?
I think i have covered this :)

Does this fall into the consensual/non-consent realms? Or does it only occur (for you) after careful planning and negotiation before each scene?
Again I think i have covered this also.. If it is a loving consensual relationship and it is not an agreed apon hard limit then no reason why it should be considered non consensual. In casual ones it requires careful negotiation to make sure lines are not crossed.

Is all humiliation play degradation play as well?
What is degradation play?
Degradation
1.
the act of degrading.
2.
the state of being degraded.

Synonyms
2. humiliation, disgrace, dishonor, debasement.

Humiliation
1.
an act or instance of humiliating or being humiliated.
2.
the state or feeling of being humiliated; mortification.

Synonyms
2. degradation, dishonor.

No difference for Me except I feel that degradation in BDSM refers to harder scenes.
Hope I was able to help.
Feel free to ask questions.
Mistress Venom

No comments:

Post a Comment