submissive "needs", abuse and slave training

submissive "needs", abuse and slave training



After reading a few posts over the past weeks and after responding to an email. I have once again decided to discuss an area of BDSM that is controversial and will probably cause division among the communities opinion. I am bringing up the topic of the needs of a submissive; which in itself is a statement that is going to be met by both the stalwart slave and by Dominants with the usual a slave has no needs other than to serve there Owner from the extreme side; and with the of course from the We all have rights and needs side.

To begin let us look at the definition of an abusive relationship.
Stanford University describes it thus:
"Relationship Abuse is a pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner. An abusive relationship means more than being hit by the person who claims to love or care about you. Abuse can be emotional, psychological, financial, sexual or physical and can include threats, isolation, and intimidation. Abuse tends to escalate over time. When someone uses abuse and violence against a partner, it is always part of a larger pattern to try to control her/him."
A diagram:
http://www.stanford.edu/group/svab/DV-abuse_cycle.p…

and from helpguide.org:
Signs of an abusive relationship

There are many signs of an abusive relationship. The most telling sign is fear of your partner. If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around your partner—constantly watching what you say and do in order to avoid a blow-up—chances are your relationship is unhealthy and abusive. Other signs that you may be in an abusive relationship include a partner who belittles you or tries to control you, and feelings of self-loathing, helplessness, and desperation.

To determine whether your relationship is abusive, answer the questions below. The more “yes” answers, the more likely it is that you’re in an abusive relationship.

SIGNS THAT YOU’RE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
Your Inner Thoughts and Feelings Your Partner’s Belittling Behavior

Do you:
feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Does your partner:
humiliate or yell at you?
criticize you and put you down?
treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
blame you for their own abusive behavior?
see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?

Does your partner:
have a bad and unpredictable temper?
hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
threaten to take your children away or harm them?
threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
force you to have sex?
destroy your belongings?
Does your partner:
act excessively jealous and possessive?
control where you go or what you do?
keep you from seeing your friends or family?
limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
constantly check up on you?

Now when looking at that We can all smile because many of those things are part of BDSM relationships, while others are clear examples of abuse, as in having your rights as a human taken away.

A lot of it though is a gray area. The difference is that in an extreme BDSM relationship there is a background, a history, training, agreed terms before Ownership and a shared JOY over been able to live in an extreme 24-7 relationship, marriage or household. To the vanilla world and even the less extreme part of Our communities some relationships and activities appear unhealthy when they are not and others are just that unhealthy.

I can look at the example of Owning a slave who has no control of finances, over daily choices such as bathroom usage, time management, feeding times, and to be used at the whim of the Owner as a purely sexually object to serve who the Owner wants, a full time toilet, or to be kept in permanent restraint or to be degraded and humiliated or physically beaten on whim. I know a few and they know who they are that are either a) suited and happy in such relations or b) would be perfectly capable and happy living this way. These like Dominants such as Myself who practice on the furthest fringe of BDSM and enjoy things that make others feel sick or angered, are rare creatures.

I am a member of many groups on here and often active in participation on topics that take My interest. I see slaves who speak of having no rights, no limits, and that is how they must be, and I see them also feeling depressed, unworthy, and symptomatic of the unhappy slave. Yet all the while they say but I am happy i just wish I could better please My Owner. This post plays in a lot with My post on humiliation play and also the one on the potential for violent response.

So what am I trying to say here, that the extreme fantasies people have or the extreme relationships some live out are all wrong? Of course not; as for Me that is My life. I am saying though that a slave DOES have needs. At least at the beginning and that is where I make the difference. The training of a slave.

I see people young, old, male or female, who meet someone who wants to live out their Sadism and fetishes and it seems to start right way. I often have a lot of shocked responses and comments to photos that I post and share. Lots of FUCK NO's or OMG WHY or that is just SICK. Those come from the part of the community that does not participate in such activities and probably will never want to. Others express their desire to be able to mimic or be as well used by their Owner or potential Owner. People seem to be thrown into relationships, often young, or unsure of who they are; as they are naturally submissive they just want to please and will follow the orders. The Dominants, tops, Owners however We want to class them very rarely seem to talk about the more intimate dynamics of relationships. When you read some of these posts you wonder, how long have they been together, how were they trained, are they truly suited to this. At least that is what I wonder.

A toilet who is married to its Owner and treated with total disregard can work if that is who they are and they know they are secure in that place. If they did not have that security and were discarded and tossed aside suddenly they would be aware of their needs. Then perhaps they would feel like a man I met about 7 years ago I think now back on alt who realised after 4 or 5 years the household and relationship he had been in was abuse. This only came to be after he was discarded until then his life was what he thought he wanted.

So the sub and the slave does have needs and if you want to Own a slave to use as a toilet, or object of humiliation 24-7, or to inflict intense physical play on at your pleasure then you need to train them properly. Training allows you to discover if this person is going to benefit from a future like this or if it is the wrong path for them. This is where I see so little discussion in groups these days on the training process. It is also something as a professional I see completely lacking in most clients. If you were training for a marathon or an extreme sport would you just start one day and run the whole thing?, or would you find a mentor, a coach, get the right gear, discover if your physical and mental health is up to the challenge. Commitment to such things take huge amounts of dedication and effort from both the participant and the coach.

Slavery is no different.

When people wonder how My slaves can do what they do, they do not seem to stop and consider there must have been times they could not, that it took time training and building the key factor of trust. You can not push someone to their limits by simply beating them over and over until they give up and just do it, you can not degrade them and put them down so much that they just give up and become what you want. It does not work that way.

So let Me allow you to challenge My Dominance by saying very clearly, I treat My slaves as humans with needs, I build them up, I teach them to be strong. I allow for failure, I offer comfort and acceptance of failure. I want them to know that non completion of something is not the end of the world. It is simply the end of that days training and a time to look at where We broke and how and when We can try again to push past. During training they must be allowed feelings, they must feel able to express themselves without fear of hurting you, upsetting you or retribution. You are trained to be able to take those 300 whip strokes, or push your body to take 500 needles, or to consume as a toilet daily by practice, reassurance and confidence building. It may seem anathema to suggest building confidence in order to be able to have a slave to humiliate and degrade that will make people stop in public play and be shocked at what they can handle. There are many parts to training, for Myself it involves a lot of talking, meditative practices, and allowing the slave to be heard. It all allows you as the Dominant to see if this person can be molded into what you both want or if you are going to have to guide them down a different path.

You may think you or your slave are suited to the most extreme relationship you desire but are you really. Do you feel good if your slave feels they can not please you or is never good enough? Do you hold that over them to force them to improve? Then you are not training a slave you are abusing a relationship and a human being.

So now feel free to tell Me I am not truly extreme enough or that I lessen Female superiority because I can listen, motivate and give hugs when needed in order to get the slave I want. I as usual do not care what you think. I know that I find success in My training and it is why I have had happy slaves who have willingly found pleasure in exploring more and more extreme play and I am glad they feel strong and confidant in knowing that even if they fail, I still am there for them and will pick them back up, and keep Us moving forward.

So for those of you who have written threads in certain groups or sent emails or display feelings of emptiness and unworthiness. Take a good long look at whether you are truly the failure you think or if it is your Owner.

As always have a lovely day and thank you for reading.
Mistress Venom
www.mistressvenom.com

Double Punishment = Double The Fun

Last night, bitch maxine reported for her scheduled punishment. On arrival while she undressed into an inspect-able state, I got out the hair dye... No not time to dye Mistress's hair... it is the beginning of the transformation of the maid into a feminized maid and future rubber doll maid. Maid soon sported new dark brown hair which certainly took an immediate few years of the age maid looks to be. Happy with the new hair color maid was ordered to kneel in the corner to watch maxine. There was punishment owned for a somewhat minor infraction of rules, that required a severe punishment. Severe due to My own enjoyment of hurting maxine and suited to the length of time she has been Owned by Me.

A single tailed whip began after maxine's ankles were tightly bound with thick rows of flat braid rope. Hands handcuffed behind her back she took the first 20 strokes with a complete play act of idiocy.. breaking all the punishment rules that she so loves to recite at any given chance. Stopping I fixed her with a glare and put down the whip, uncuffing her and kicking her to the floor so her horny ass stuck up in the air and her exposed back displayed old scars from prior punishments. At this point furious with the poor example this want to be senior slave was making, I send the maid to another room. Grabbing maxine roughly by the neck, spitting into her bitch face, I quickly set her straight that if she wanted position of senior slave her usual games were unacceptable and unless she wanted the shame of the maid been allowed to punish her, she would clean up her act and take the last 50 strokes like a good girl. Suitably scared after My interlude of rage, I stopped to piss into a tall glass and smirked and offered her some refreshment... maxine now subdued drank it all and returned the glass and washed it. Then maid was brought back in and i continued maxine's punishment. This time with a thick and long rattan cane... half way through the cane snapped in half as a particularly harsh cut smashed into her ass. Taking time to drag the broken end of the cane over her welt covered and bleeding ass, I teased her for causing Me to break the 3rd cane in as many weeks. The punishment was finished soon with a different cane.. At this point I unbound My bitch and removed the 4 22 gauge needles that had pierced her lovely long nipples. Playing with the blood with My gloved hands, I soon padded her bra with padded non stick wound bandages. Then I turned her round and had the maid closely inspect her welts and touch the old scars that crisscross maxine s body. The scars marking the journey made together. A severe warning for maid who takes pain when deserved but whom does no find the sexual excitement from it that makes bitch maxine shiver with excitement and Me alert and aroused when delivering it.

Time had come now for maid to take the place in the center of the room. In the same position, unbound, the maid instructed to take punishment without sound, complain or moving... reinforcement of these requirements needed after maxine's dismal start to her punishment.. maid was warned that it was not wanted to see Me so furious with his performance. Luckily the maid appears to have a good brain, and has realized that while i am fair, I expect rules to be followed implicitly and if they are not I turn , well nasty does not quite describe it. Looking into My darkened eyes, they change colors when i am angry or aroused... maid did not want to see that look on My face.

Maid was due 20 strokes to the ass, these were given at first with 30 seconds between strokes with a tassel whip, and the last 10 with the cane hard and fast, leaving the maids hindquarters quivering. Then maxine was allowed to run her hands over the new marks and the maid I ordered to stand to show the horrific bruising to the front of the thighs he had received earlier in the week.

Happy with the bleeding ass of maxine I played hammering several needles into the plump flesh of her buttocks.. after cleaning up and removing the bio-waste. I seated Myself on My chair kicking off My heels and ordering both My little slaves to crawl to Me.. Maxine had the benefit of been sent on a massage course by Me.. maid the daily practice of giving nightly massages and rubbing My feet many times during the working day.. Still after a few minutes of each rubbing one of My feet.. I declared the only suitable decision there could be... that both were pretty useless and required more practice and therefore both would be awarded 5 cuts... I allowed the maid to chose the tool for maxine, and vice versa.. the maid received 5 strokes with a heavy rubber tawse and maxine took another 5 cuts with a rattan.

By this time it was late and maxine was allowed to clean up and dress, and was sent on her way for the evening.. and on that note... it is time for Me to return to the dungeon... more on this to come later...

and a quick thank you to all the clients I have seen this week... there is a couple more tales to come... a CP session with a slave from further south and a delightful full toilet session with some stunning vomit play.. Check in later for more on these.

As for the rest of you, know your place.. at My feet...

MV

WHEN

"A trained slave has to do exactly as she is told every time, perfectly or the slave must face the consequences of disobedience, / poor performance. Mistress's customers are their for Her income and the slaves submission is to be used to assist in any way with Her Owners business."

-WHEN-

When Mistress tells bitch to jump, the only answer is, "Yes Mistress how high?"
When Mistress tells bitch to open her legs to be fucked the only answer is,"yes Mistress is that wide enough?"
When Mistress tells bitch she will have needles pierce her tits the only answer is, "Yes Mistress how many?"
When Mistress tells bitch she is to be beaten the only answer is, "Yes Mistress how many lashes or cuts?"
When Mistress tells bitch to submit to an enema the only answer is, "Yes Mistress, how many litres and how long should she hold it in for?"
When Mistress tells bitch she is to be placed in bondage the only answer is, "Yes Mistress for how long?"
When Mistress tells bitch to attend to her at a certain time and date, the only answer is, "Yes Mistress at what time and seamed stockings or not?"

Training of maxine - Week starting 9th August

Installment 1 on a week with maxine. slavebitch TS maxine is currently in her 2nd year of Ownership by Mistress Venom.
This post will be a collection of thoughts, reminiscences, and training methods, compiled by Mistress Venom for the purposes of Her blog. Mistress Venom has Owned several slaves over the years and is looking forward to documenting with words and images the current slaves.

"This week My bitch met for the first time her new competition, for the purposes of slavery, competition pushes the slave to work harder; the fear a loss of Mistress's attentions. The bitch did not disappoint as bravely she stood and stated any competition however hard would be won by her." - Mistress Venom 18/08/10.

*No slave is ever allowed to use the personal pronoun for herself. Always the third person must be used, she, your slave, maxine, the bitch, all appropriate terms of self address in written communications.

*Mistress will always administer punishment to Her slaves in front of other slaves to reinforce the facts of their life for them.The threat or promise of coming punishments keeps the slaves mind focused on performance.

"This bitch is aware of her total possession by Mistress Venom and is focused solely on the 24-7 needs of her Mistress. No fault however small appears to escape Mistress's notice. Her home must be immaculately kept, meals prepared - silver service, washing and ironing perfect, dressing Madame, attendance to Her personal dressing habits and needs. The bitch shall also submit to all requirements of any of Mistress's clients without exception or exclusion. There shall be no limits to her work. She has a bell in her cell to call her for any needs 24 hours a day. Respectfully, the bitch known as maxine."

"A slaves existence when ruled by a truly Sadistic Lady, is one where the girl must endure all of the pain, discomfort, tiredness, humiliation applied to her each long day without complaint or any show of reluctance. A good slave girl will never report for a punishment with anything less than a positive attitude and excellent poise to be maintained throughout punishment." - Training of maxine - Mistress Venom.

~~~~ PUNISHMENTS ~~~~~
Notes from maxine, " In accordance with one of the imposed rules, she is required to report in writing to her Mistress after each punishment or training session. As instructed she presented herself to Mistress Venom today at 12 noon. She was made to strip to her bra and panties before having her hands tied above her head, ropes attached to the most severe and sturdy of nipple clamps. Then she was given 100 lashes across the front of her body, across her breasts, across her thighs with a single tailed whip. It was a very severe and sadistic whipping resulting in several open lash welts. She had to rub salt into the open welts which causes intense stinging. Apart from 2 previous birchings administered to her ass, todays whipping was probably the most painful she has had. Happily she believes Madame can hardly hurt the bitch any worse."

(However the bitch is VERY wrong on this matter as will be shown in the next 10 months.) MV

"She also has 300 lines to write for Mistress Venom to be handed in by 11th of August. Then she has to recite the poem, "The Hollow Men" to mistress's satisfaction. It is a long poem, but the bitch is aware it is her Owners favorite and therefore MUST be memorized! her poor body is just so sore Mistress, surely Madame can not cause her bitch more pain than that? Respectfully, maxine."

Living the life - Thoughts on 24-7 slavery

As I lost My old blog, it is time to begin updating this one with more regularity. I have had a busy couple of weeks as I moved homes, this explains the lack of posts. I am sure i will soon make up for the lack of new content.

As some know, I have had My slavebitch maxine in training for 14 months now and are already 2 months into the continuation of our previous contract. The journey has been a interesting one, and it has been a pleasure to Own a slavebitch who's masochism is so in tune with My sadism. The journey has taken us beyond the edge, and many new humiliation techniques have been thrust upon My bitch to increase bitches usefulness.

I have recently taken back My maid this time under a formal year long contract. The maid is in a full time live in situation with Myself and training has only just begun.. *grin*

A combination of old fashioned slave training along with My particular sense of humor and evil is used to push the both of them further and further. I hope a year from now I will be announcing both contract renewals and have seen especially the maid travel down a road to the most fucked up depravity.. I am confident in this as My purely submissive and gentle maid confessed a promise to allow Me to vomit on the maid for My own enjoyment. Those kind of statements show Me there is so much potential in My latest belonging.

So this post.. As a Pro Domina, I feel it important to emphasize that this is My lifestyle and I am lucky to work doing what I love. It is also in the interest of creating a recorded time line of events and training so that half yearly reviews of depravity in My slaves can be compiled. So keep a look at for thoughts on the training of maxine and maid (jess to be).

Mistress V.